What could I do if I didn't have to do? This is the question that I presented to myself today as I looked around my trashed house (OK, just the play room) and thought about how I wanted to be outside today, but wasn't able, because of my responsibilities. Then as my 22 month old daughter pushed buttons on the computer and came across a picture of a different life I wondered, for that small moment, what would it be like to just pick up and move to my dream?
The problem was I didn't even have a dream. Blah, how did I get to that point, I used to day dream all the time and loved it. An excitement used to fill me when I day dreamed and I had hope for the future. Not that I don't have hope, but I don't have fun in my hopes. Blah is right. So I decided to come on here and figure out what my day dream would be, what my fantasy life would be. In order to do that though, I think I will have to take away responsibility. Hmmm, I wonder if this would really be a life I would like, but I will go for it, why not.
Here is my dream.
Mossy covered trees stretch before my round deep blue eyes. The warmth sticking to my pale skin, my feet dance across the sandy shores of the large pond off to my side. I move towards giant boulders on the hillside, using my strength, pull myself up, letting the full breeze sweep across me, whipping my dark hair in every direction. My soul is carried on that breeze, laughing, singing, crying, taking in the years of long ago, the battles fought, the loved ones gained, the life shared. As blissful as this moment is, longing enters my heart, but is whisked away in the delightful squeals of children, my children. Behind them their father runs, chasing these pale beauties, the older ones with long legs and the smaller with pudgy hands. They make their way to me for safety even though they would love to be caught by the man they call dad. Once all have reached the top of the giant weather beaten boulder, we stand as one in the warmth and let the joy that fills our hearts escape on the breeze to be carried away only to return to enchant us another day.
Ah, a dream came. Though with many dreams there may be a surprise ending. My dream started with me alone, enjoying nature only to feel empty. Without my family it was no paradise. I desired to have no responsability, but in doing so, I took away my joy. My family is my responsibility and my family is my joy! Maybe one day my dream will come true, but if I never have this scene played out in real life, I at least have the people in my dream to hold, love, and cherish forever more. Now that is a dream come true.
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