This is the story of my natural birth with my third child. My other two were not natural and at each birth I felt there was something more that I was missing out on. So I decided to go natural on my third and it was the best decision I could have made. I start with a little background on my first two, then move on to the story of my third.
I was started with my first and one day before my due date. I was extremely healthy as was the baby and there was absolutely no reason to be started, but the doctor said that is what we should do and I being young and a first timer at this, I trusted him. Yes, everything was fine, but I feel I could have had a much more real birthing experience. And I am upset that was taken from me. We went to the hospital as scheduled and they got me all hooked up with Pitocin. I remember I did not like how it made me feel. When the contractions hit, they were very uncomfortable and I remember my face feeling hot. My sisters came to visit (which was fun and nice) but I admit, I just wanted them to leave because I didn’t feel good. I was dilated to a five when they wanted to break my water. My mom had told me to make sure to get an epidural before that, because once the water had been broken the contractions would get really bad. So that is what I did.
Oh man, getting an epidural was so painful. I had no idea it could be that bad. It felt like they were putting giant balls in my back. But once it was in it worked very well and I didn’t feel anything. I remember just laying there kind of bored. My husband and I watched a movie that I wasn’t very interested in and we just waited. Finally I was at a ten and my doctor got me ready to push. He reminded me of how to do this and we started. I did a great job. I pushed when he said and held it for as long as he wanted. My body made good progress for my fist child and she was out after 15 minutes of pushing. She was such a beautiful, healthy looking baby. Her coloring was so good and she cried a sweet little cry. (One I wouldn’t find to be so sweet later on, because she wouldn’t stop). But for now it was a most sweet cry. I remember holding her and thinking how beautiful she was. My emotions seemed very limited, but I was still very happy to have my little girl.
Oh man, getting an epidural was so painful. I had no idea it could be that bad. It felt like they were putting giant balls in my back. But once it was in it worked very well and I didn’t feel anything. I remember just laying there kind of bored. My husband and I watched a movie that I wasn’t very interested in and we just waited. Finally I was at a ten and my doctor got me ready to push. He reminded me of how to do this and we started. I did a great job. I pushed when he said and held it for as long as he wanted. My body made good progress for my fist child and she was out after 15 minutes of pushing. She was such a beautiful, healthy looking baby. Her coloring was so good and she cried a sweet little cry. (One I wouldn’t find to be so sweet later on, because she wouldn’t stop). But for now it was a most sweet cry. I remember holding her and thinking how beautiful she was. My emotions seemed very limited, but I was still very happy to have my little girl.
On my second delivery, I said I wanted to go into labor on my own and the same doctor I had, respected that. My baby came right on time. It was so fun to wake up in the night with mild contractions and just stare at the clock knowing that this was it. Things worked out so well. I remember getting up and taking a shower to get all ready. I woke my husband up and told him that we needed to go to the hospital. He was very shocked, but happy. I got my fist daughter up and dressed and we dropped her off at my husbands’ parents, then we were off to the hospital. We got to the hospital when the contractions were five minutes apart and we had our baby girl about three hours later.
I was doing great with the contractions until a nurse came in and asked me what my pain level was? I hadn’t had pain until she said that. Then all of a sudden, I hurt! I decided it was time for my epidural and that is what I did. Once again, getting the epidural hurt very badly. And it didn’t help that the anesthesiologist wanted me to bend in a very difficult position so he could give it to me. But once it was in, it worked great, I didn’t feel a thing.
When it was time to push, it went very well. I only pushed a few times and she was out. She was more blue and that shocked me, but she was strong and healthy and such a wonderful little baby girl.
The pushing took less than ten minutes. I admit, I was very proud of my body’s ability to deliver a baby so easily. It was a step closer in the direction I wanted. But I realized I still wanted more. It didn't seem real again. It didn't feel like I just gave birth, because I couldn't feel anything. I had some problems from the medicine and ended up fainting a few hours later and that same day I went into a depression and ended up crying a lot. I feel the drugs did this to me. I have no other explanation for this. I loved my baby, but I did not feel like myself. That is when I knew I needed a change.
On my third and my latest child I decided to go naturally. We prepared by studying and going to class for the Hypnobirthing technique and practiced the breathing that I should do. I felt fairly confident that I could do this. At the very end of my pregnancy I got really nervous that things wouldn't work the way I wanted and planned for. I had had many very hard contractions for the two months before it was time to have the baby. These contractions hurt and I would have to get into the bathtub at 2 in the morning to get them to calm down. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle labor, because they would be much worse than these. I believe this fear was holding back my progress. The night of my due date I couldn't sleep and started walking around talking to my little baby boy. I told him that I loved him and that I would take good care of him. That yes, I had been afraid, but now I was willing to go through pain so that I could have him. I told him not to be afraid to come to us, that we were a good family and would just love him. I kept saying this over and over again and I was having contractions, but nothing too serious. I was able to go back to bed, feeling very calm and at peace with the upcoming labor. The next day came and went with nothing, but that night it started.
In the middle of the night I started having those nice light contractions that I had, had with my 2nd child. The only difference is they were so far apart. I got up at some point that morning and started walking around. I noticed that when I was walking they were very close together, sometimes just 3 minutes apart. But then when I sat down, they would spread out to be as far apart as 20 minutes. I really didn't know what to do. I had to be at the hospital early enough (4 hours before the baby is born) to get an antibiotic that would protect the baby from Strep B, so I didn't want to wait to long, but I didn't want to go and not be in labor.
My husband had stayed home from work just in case this was really it, but he was at the store, grocery shopping when I decided we should go. I called him and said we should go. Then I called his parents and my Father in-law was on his way to watch the girls. When my husband came home, I still wasn't sure I was in labor, but we decided we should go just to play it safe.
On the way to the hospital, the contractions slowed down again. I wasn’t sure we were doing the right thing to go, but decided we should proceed. We had been to the hospital two weeks earlier for a false labor and I really didn’t want that to happen again.
When we got to the hospital, they checked us into a room and it was one that I could deliver in if it came to that. When we were there two weeks earlier, they didn’t put us in one of the labor rooms, so this was a good sign. The nurse and another lady (who was learning) came and checked me, and pushed on me. That was not fun. They said that I was 4 ½ cm dilated and after monitoring my contractions said I was not in active labor. I was told that because I was so far dilated and two days past my due date, I wasn’t going anywhere. That is when I realized I was going to have to battle for my natural birth. They talked about breaking my water to get things going and if that didn’t work to start me on Pitocin.
These were not OK with me. I told them that my Midwife said I could go a week past my due date before I had to do any of these things. So, if I didn’t go into labor soon, I would just go home. I could tell the nurse didn’t like this, but it is what I wanted and I stood up for it.
Shortly after this there was a shift change and I got a new nurse, who had taken Hypnobirthing classes for her son. She wasn’t able to use them, but was much more understanding of my position. One thing I didn’t like though, was how ruff she was. She went to check me and dang it hurt. I told her right then how I felt and she tried to be softer after that. The other thing I didn’t like (and not her fault at all) was that she had to ask all those questions that takes forever. I even had to sign a form to say I didn’t want them to mention pain or the pain scale. They legally have to ask this, and because I didn’t want to think of pain, I had to sign a waver. That was fine with me. I really just wanted to start walking, to see if I could get my labor going. But finally we finished my life history and my husband and I made our way to the hall.
I walked around and around the labor and delivery floor. My contractions picked up again and I felt good. None of the contractions stopped me from walking, talking or anything. They were just good, strong contractions. When we got back to the room, the nurse wanted to check me again. She was very surprised, I had jumped to a 6 ½. I was very happy as well and so after I rested for a minute, we started to walk again. But this time I put on my garment bottoms because I wasn’t used to being without them, and my legs were starting to be rubbed raw. I placed my feet in my slippers and my husband grabbed my IV stand and we were off. (I forgot to mention the IV. That was to make sure I was fully hydrated and also for my antibiotics. All that water made me need to go to the bathroom a ton).
I was doing great with the contractions until a nurse came in and asked me what my pain level was? I hadn’t had pain until she said that. Then all of a sudden, I hurt! I decided it was time for my epidural and that is what I did. Once again, getting the epidural hurt very badly. And it didn’t help that the anesthesiologist wanted me to bend in a very difficult position so he could give it to me. But once it was in, it worked great, I didn’t feel a thing.
When it was time to push, it went very well. I only pushed a few times and she was out. She was more blue and that shocked me, but she was strong and healthy and such a wonderful little baby girl.
The pushing took less than ten minutes. I admit, I was very proud of my body’s ability to deliver a baby so easily. It was a step closer in the direction I wanted. But I realized I still wanted more. It didn't seem real again. It didn't feel like I just gave birth, because I couldn't feel anything. I had some problems from the medicine and ended up fainting a few hours later and that same day I went into a depression and ended up crying a lot. I feel the drugs did this to me. I have no other explanation for this. I loved my baby, but I did not feel like myself. That is when I knew I needed a change.
On my third and my latest child I decided to go naturally. We prepared by studying and going to class for the Hypnobirthing technique and practiced the breathing that I should do. I felt fairly confident that I could do this. At the very end of my pregnancy I got really nervous that things wouldn't work the way I wanted and planned for. I had had many very hard contractions for the two months before it was time to have the baby. These contractions hurt and I would have to get into the bathtub at 2 in the morning to get them to calm down. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle labor, because they would be much worse than these. I believe this fear was holding back my progress. The night of my due date I couldn't sleep and started walking around talking to my little baby boy. I told him that I loved him and that I would take good care of him. That yes, I had been afraid, but now I was willing to go through pain so that I could have him. I told him not to be afraid to come to us, that we were a good family and would just love him. I kept saying this over and over again and I was having contractions, but nothing too serious. I was able to go back to bed, feeling very calm and at peace with the upcoming labor. The next day came and went with nothing, but that night it started.
In the middle of the night I started having those nice light contractions that I had, had with my 2nd child. The only difference is they were so far apart. I got up at some point that morning and started walking around. I noticed that when I was walking they were very close together, sometimes just 3 minutes apart. But then when I sat down, they would spread out to be as far apart as 20 minutes. I really didn't know what to do. I had to be at the hospital early enough (4 hours before the baby is born) to get an antibiotic that would protect the baby from Strep B, so I didn't want to wait to long, but I didn't want to go and not be in labor.
My husband had stayed home from work just in case this was really it, but he was at the store, grocery shopping when I decided we should go. I called him and said we should go. Then I called his parents and my Father in-law was on his way to watch the girls. When my husband came home, I still wasn't sure I was in labor, but we decided we should go just to play it safe.
On the way to the hospital, the contractions slowed down again. I wasn’t sure we were doing the right thing to go, but decided we should proceed. We had been to the hospital two weeks earlier for a false labor and I really didn’t want that to happen again.
When we got to the hospital, they checked us into a room and it was one that I could deliver in if it came to that. When we were there two weeks earlier, they didn’t put us in one of the labor rooms, so this was a good sign. The nurse and another lady (who was learning) came and checked me, and pushed on me. That was not fun. They said that I was 4 ½ cm dilated and after monitoring my contractions said I was not in active labor. I was told that because I was so far dilated and two days past my due date, I wasn’t going anywhere. That is when I realized I was going to have to battle for my natural birth. They talked about breaking my water to get things going and if that didn’t work to start me on Pitocin.
These were not OK with me. I told them that my Midwife said I could go a week past my due date before I had to do any of these things. So, if I didn’t go into labor soon, I would just go home. I could tell the nurse didn’t like this, but it is what I wanted and I stood up for it.
Shortly after this there was a shift change and I got a new nurse, who had taken Hypnobirthing classes for her son. She wasn’t able to use them, but was much more understanding of my position. One thing I didn’t like though, was how ruff she was. She went to check me and dang it hurt. I told her right then how I felt and she tried to be softer after that. The other thing I didn’t like (and not her fault at all) was that she had to ask all those questions that takes forever. I even had to sign a form to say I didn’t want them to mention pain or the pain scale. They legally have to ask this, and because I didn’t want to think of pain, I had to sign a waver. That was fine with me. I really just wanted to start walking, to see if I could get my labor going. But finally we finished my life history and my husband and I made our way to the hall.
I walked around and around the labor and delivery floor. My contractions picked up again and I felt good. None of the contractions stopped me from walking, talking or anything. They were just good, strong contractions. When we got back to the room, the nurse wanted to check me again. She was very surprised, I had jumped to a 6 ½. I was very happy as well and so after I rested for a minute, we started to walk again. But this time I put on my garment bottoms because I wasn’t used to being without them, and my legs were starting to be rubbed raw. I placed my feet in my slippers and my husband grabbed my IV stand and we were off. (I forgot to mention the IV. That was to make sure I was fully hydrated and also for my antibiotics. All that water made me need to go to the bathroom a ton).
After walking again for a time, we made our way back to the room, where the nurse checked me once again. (I really didn’t like all the checking). At this point I had gotten to a 7 and my body just stopped. They had me walk some more, but nothing had happened. I think my body was starting to feel stressed out about the pressure to keep progressing. There is a term for this, but I don’t remember what it is called. So after a while my nurse kept bugging me about breaking my water and I kept saying no. I looked at my husband and asked “are we were in a hurry, do we have somewhere we needed to go?” He looked at me and said “Nope, we are good”. They wanted me to be done so quickly, but my body had its own timing and I didn’t want to push it.
They gave me a giant ball to sit on and that felt good to be out of the bed. So I sat on that and tried some nipple stimulation. Then after a bit, I finally let my nurse sweep me (which is used to help start labor). With those two things being done, my body kicked into gear again and I started to have strong contractions. My on call Midwife came in for the first time and we talked. It was actually the first time that I met her, because my Midwife was out of town. She told me a position of kneeling on my bed against the back and letting my hands drape over the edge and to just rock back and forth. She said this would help relieve the pressure the contractions were putting on my back. I didn’t realize what kind of pressure I had until it was relieved a bit. That was a great position.
After about an hour (I think) of this position, she came back in and checked me. I was fully dilated at that point. I had made it through transition quickly and without any difficulty. Transition was a quite time, the lights were down low, soft music was playing and my husband was at my side. He was so sweet, and so tired. He really didn’t have much to do, so he was having a hard time staying awake. I don’t blame him. But he was so good to me. I remember he asked me a question in the middle of a contraction, and I just had to put my hand up to stop him. I could not answer and felt like that was a little hard on him, but he didn’t seem to mind. That was the only time I remember being at all agitated with him. He would rub my back and whisper things in my ear to help me. It was a very peaceful moment.
Once my midwife said I was to a 10, she said it could be very soon or still a few hours, because my water had not broken yet, and I didn’t want them to break it. She was fine with that. Though I know she was very tired, because she had been on call and delivered many babies and had gotten very little sleep the last couple of days. She said she would wait in the Doctors lounge and take a nap until it was time. It was getting late (around 11:15) and I was very tired as well. So I decided to take a nap too. I got comfy and was starting to doze when I was startled by a monitor going off on the baby bed that had been wheeled in for the preparation of birth.
My husband called the nurse in and she turned it off. Then she realized the monitors on my stomach were all off, so she was trying to reposition them when I jumped in surprise. It scared her and I started to laugh. “Oh, my water bro”. That was as far as I got before my body turned into a powerful machine that I never new existed. At full force my body was trying to expel that little baby that was inside of me. I had the most insistent need to push, but it was tiny little spasms one after another of needing to push. I was so caught off guard that I could not get my breathing under control.
I remember the nurse screaming into the monitor to get my Doctor and the nurses’ station not knowing who she wanted. My nurse was so panicked, (she had told me she didn’t want to deliver my baby all by herself a few times earlier that day). As she was screaming for the doctor, I was pushing in one second intervals and I am sure making all sorts of noises.
I don’t know exactly what was happening because I couldn’t concentrate or even see, (though after the matter, my husband said my eyes were open). My Midwife came rushing in and I remember them trying to get me to move down and put my legs in stirrups. The only thing I was thinking beside the incredible need to push and trying to breathe was that my sock was twisted and it was really driving me crazy. My Midwife had them put oxygen on me, because I was starting to hyperventilate (that was because I was trying to do my breathing, but was only managing very quick breaths).
Once that was done my Midwife told me to give a big push. I did exactly what she said and it felt so good. That had calmed my quick contractions and I felt I could get a hold of my breathing, so that I could hopefully just breath the baby out instead of push him out. But right after that first push my midwife said very insistently “We need to get this baby out now!” She told me to push and I did not argue for I new that I needed to get him out right away, but I didn’t know why. I gave one very hard pushed and screamed at the top of my lungs while doing so. My little baby came out in one quick motion.
My Midwife skillfully un-wrapped the umbilical cord from around his neck and instructed my husband to cut the cord quickly. She then placed his little blue body on my stomach and I gently rubbed my fingers on him saying “breathe, baby, breathe.” Right then he let out a wale and I new everything was going to be just fine. They took him away from me to make sure he was OK. During delivery his shoulder had been displaced and the cord being wrapped around his neck, they wanted to take care of him. And that was just fine with me, because I don’t think I could have held him anyway, I was shaking so badly.
The Midwife stitched me up while they were weighing him and doing other things. I was still shaking so badly. The nurses brought me some warm blankets which felt good, but didn’t stop the shaking. I asked why I couldn’t stop shaking and the Midwife told me it was because of the adrenalin rush. I later found out from a nurse that the shaking was from the medicine they put in my IV to shrink my Uterus and stop bleeding faster. I was not happy about that, they did not ask me if they could do that, but it was too late at that point.
They gave me a giant ball to sit on and that felt good to be out of the bed. So I sat on that and tried some nipple stimulation. Then after a bit, I finally let my nurse sweep me (which is used to help start labor). With those two things being done, my body kicked into gear again and I started to have strong contractions. My on call Midwife came in for the first time and we talked. It was actually the first time that I met her, because my Midwife was out of town. She told me a position of kneeling on my bed against the back and letting my hands drape over the edge and to just rock back and forth. She said this would help relieve the pressure the contractions were putting on my back. I didn’t realize what kind of pressure I had until it was relieved a bit. That was a great position.
After about an hour (I think) of this position, she came back in and checked me. I was fully dilated at that point. I had made it through transition quickly and without any difficulty. Transition was a quite time, the lights were down low, soft music was playing and my husband was at my side. He was so sweet, and so tired. He really didn’t have much to do, so he was having a hard time staying awake. I don’t blame him. But he was so good to me. I remember he asked me a question in the middle of a contraction, and I just had to put my hand up to stop him. I could not answer and felt like that was a little hard on him, but he didn’t seem to mind. That was the only time I remember being at all agitated with him. He would rub my back and whisper things in my ear to help me. It was a very peaceful moment.
Once my midwife said I was to a 10, she said it could be very soon or still a few hours, because my water had not broken yet, and I didn’t want them to break it. She was fine with that. Though I know she was very tired, because she had been on call and delivered many babies and had gotten very little sleep the last couple of days. She said she would wait in the Doctors lounge and take a nap until it was time. It was getting late (around 11:15) and I was very tired as well. So I decided to take a nap too. I got comfy and was starting to doze when I was startled by a monitor going off on the baby bed that had been wheeled in for the preparation of birth.
My husband called the nurse in and she turned it off. Then she realized the monitors on my stomach were all off, so she was trying to reposition them when I jumped in surprise. It scared her and I started to laugh. “Oh, my water bro”. That was as far as I got before my body turned into a powerful machine that I never new existed. At full force my body was trying to expel that little baby that was inside of me. I had the most insistent need to push, but it was tiny little spasms one after another of needing to push. I was so caught off guard that I could not get my breathing under control.
I remember the nurse screaming into the monitor to get my Doctor and the nurses’ station not knowing who she wanted. My nurse was so panicked, (she had told me she didn’t want to deliver my baby all by herself a few times earlier that day). As she was screaming for the doctor, I was pushing in one second intervals and I am sure making all sorts of noises.
I don’t know exactly what was happening because I couldn’t concentrate or even see, (though after the matter, my husband said my eyes were open). My Midwife came rushing in and I remember them trying to get me to move down and put my legs in stirrups. The only thing I was thinking beside the incredible need to push and trying to breathe was that my sock was twisted and it was really driving me crazy. My Midwife had them put oxygen on me, because I was starting to hyperventilate (that was because I was trying to do my breathing, but was only managing very quick breaths).
Once that was done my Midwife told me to give a big push. I did exactly what she said and it felt so good. That had calmed my quick contractions and I felt I could get a hold of my breathing, so that I could hopefully just breath the baby out instead of push him out. But right after that first push my midwife said very insistently “We need to get this baby out now!” She told me to push and I did not argue for I new that I needed to get him out right away, but I didn’t know why. I gave one very hard pushed and screamed at the top of my lungs while doing so. My little baby came out in one quick motion.
My Midwife skillfully un-wrapped the umbilical cord from around his neck and instructed my husband to cut the cord quickly. She then placed his little blue body on my stomach and I gently rubbed my fingers on him saying “breathe, baby, breathe.” Right then he let out a wale and I new everything was going to be just fine. They took him away from me to make sure he was OK. During delivery his shoulder had been displaced and the cord being wrapped around his neck, they wanted to take care of him. And that was just fine with me, because I don’t think I could have held him anyway, I was shaking so badly.
The Midwife stitched me up while they were weighing him and doing other things. I was still shaking so badly. The nurses brought me some warm blankets which felt good, but didn’t stop the shaking. I asked why I couldn’t stop shaking and the Midwife told me it was because of the adrenalin rush. I later found out from a nurse that the shaking was from the medicine they put in my IV to shrink my Uterus and stop bleeding faster. I was not happy about that, they did not ask me if they could do that, but it was too late at that point.
When it was time to be stitched, she asked me if I would like the area numbed? I promptly said, “yes please” and that is what she did. I did have one spot that needed a little more deadening, but other than that, I was just fine. That was probably the most painful part of having the baby, that or the fact that my throat hurt so badly from screaming. I asked if they had a throat lozenge, but they didn’t.
A few minutes later they brought my little baby boy (who was actually very big, 8lbs 12 oz) over to me so I could hold him close and feed him for the first time. That moment was incredible! I have never felt the heavens open more, than at that moment. I had a few other moments like this with my son. I feel so grateful to have been able to experience birth on a whole new level. My girls were born to me under different circumstances and each one was beautiful and very special. But this was the first time that I felt everything, and because of this I was able to have all the feelings my body and spirit wanted me to have and it was wonderful. Nothing was dimmed, nothing was stopped, and nothing was changed. Everything was the way it was intended to be and I felt good. I felt true joy from giving birth and it was miraculous!
