With any pregnancy comes excitement and longing as the days tick on by. There was no exception to this rule as my family and I waited for the birth of #4. She was "due" I put that in quotations, because I don't go off of due dates too much, I believe a baby will be born when they are ready, but anyway, she was "due" April 2nd. I couldn't ask for better timing. That was a Monday and not just any Monday, but the 1st day of Spring Break for the kids. So if she was going to be born that week, it would just simplify things greatly. It was also the week before Easter. Her due date came and went with nothing more than many contractions during the night that made me think that yes, this is it, but then they fizzled out by morning. My poor husband had to drive to work, switch schedules, and take days off, because I just wasn't sure if those contractions were the real thing. You would think by #4 you would have some idea what was real and was not, but nope, I wasn't sure until they dissipated. Those contractions could be very strong at times and very regular.
On her due date and the 1st day or so after, I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that she wasn't coming yet (mostly because I was sleep deprived due to the contractions), and I wanted her so badly. So I tried a few things to help move things along (walking, eating pineapple, and other things I think I will not mention), but nothing worked. I only tried a few of the very most common, simple acts, because I didn't want to push things too much. I really did want her to come when she was ready. Once I got to about the middle of the week I started to wrap my mind around the whole idea of her being "late". "Late" in the worlds standards. Everyone kept saying that she was going to be an Easter baby. That sounded like fun, but I didn't want to wait that much longer. I was starting to get more and more uncomfortable. I would always say how grateful I was that I could at least walk well. By the end of the week I had to admit that NO, I could not walk well anymore and that my body was feeling very pregnant.
Friday I had my Midwifes appointment and I went wondering if my body was really kicking into gear. I had had many nights of really good contractions, but the night before I hadn't had any and thought, well maybe my body is resting to go into labor tonight. My midwife checked me and told me that I was at a 5. That was great! I had never gotten that far without already being in the hospital. But at that point I wasn't contracting, so there was no point in me being at the hospital yet. My Midwife told me that when labor started to get to the hospital right away, because she thought I was going to go fast.
That evening I was having some really good, strong contractions, but there was no consistency to them, so I blew them off once more. We got the kids to bed and then went to bed ourselves. I really had a feeling that this was the night. Mostly because of the very strong, low, pressure I was feeling. I didn't know how it could go any longer. So off to bed I went, hoping to get a few good hours of sleep, in case the adventure started.
I woke up about an hour later with one very strong contraction, went to the bathroom and back to bed. An hour later, I woke up with another very strong contraction, went to the bathroom and back to bed. An hour after that I woke up with yet another very strong contraction, went to the bathroom and decided to stay awake and see if any more were going to come. Well, they did. They were coming every 10 minutes and they were STRONG! I woke my husband up and said he needed to get ready. While he was in the shower I called his parents who live 1/2 hour away and to tell them they should come. In that time that I was on the phone, my next contraction came at 8 minutes. Then when my husband got out of the shower I told him about the jump to 8 minutes and then another one hit. It was only 4 minutes from the last one. I told him and he asked if we needed to call our neighbor friend over. I just said YES! He called but no one answered, it was 2 in the morning. But then she called back and he asked if she could come over. She was a little asleep at the time and said, just bring the kids on over, but my husband asked if she could come to our house. She then woke up a little more to realize that was the more appropriate thing to do. What a great friend we have. So she was on her way.
When another contraction came so strong at 4 minutes again I said a little worried that we needed to go. But the problem was I wasn't dressed. The contractions were coming so hard and fast that I couldn't move fast enough to get ready. But eventually we got everything we needed and I was dressed. My neighbor showed up right then and we were off. I had to stop a couple of times, because I couldn't walk during the contractions, but we got in the car and were on our way.
The ride to the hospital only took 10 minutes at the very most, but by the time we got to the hospital, I knew things were getting close. We pulled up to the main hospital doors, but they were locked for the night. Thank goodness, my husband checked before I got out and to the doors. So we then quickly pulled around the side of the hospital to the emergency room doors and parked in the circle and made our way in to the front desk. They asked how far along I was and I said 40 1/2 weeks. They then said for me to come around and they would get us all checked in. I was a little worried by that, I didn't have time to do anything like that and thought that all the per-registering I did would be enough. Well, I said "Um, I need to hurry!" They then understood and got me a wheel chair and started pushing me to our destination. We just needed to wait a few seconds for my husband who ran out to move the car and grab our things.
By the time we were rushing down the hall, my contractions were every 2 minutes or so. I was doing my breathing, but I couldn't believe how strong they were. Yes, I have done a natural birth before, but it was so calm and I didn't feel any pain. OK, I hate the word pain, but yes, that is what I was feeling. I wouldn't say it was horrible, but certainly not enjoyable. By the time we got to the room and I was asked to undress and put on a rob, I wanted to cry. I wasn't sure if I could take having any contractions much stronger than this. You need to realize, I thought it was going to get a whole lot worse, because I didn't realize just how far my body had gotten in such a short period of time. But I decided that crying wasn't going to do me any good, so I just needed to get over it and get ready to have this baby.
After a difficult change out of my clothes, I got into the bed and a nurse checked me and was surprised to see that I was at an 8 and fully effaced. She was confused and decided to check again just to make sure. She said, yep, you are about ready to go, we better call your midwife. So, then they started in with the needles, because I needed to have an antibiotic to protect the baby from Group B Strep when she would be born. The nurse tried to get it in, but couldn't. So she tried another spot and couldn't. She said my veins were hard. Then another nurse came in and tried and couldn't. They blamed these new needles that they had. They both said they had never had a problem until they got these new needles. Can I just tell you that wasn't fun. My husband had turned on Enya for me to try and get me relax a little and he was trying to help me do my breathing through these very difficult contractions and I have two ladies digging at my arms. But I just kept on doing my thing, trying to block out there talk and yet answer their questions in-between contractions.
Well, there came a point when it just didn't matter anymore. My water broke. And with that I realized and said aloud "my water broke" the nurse said good and I said "no, here comes the baby!" I admit, I was worried at that point because my midwife hadn't arrived and with my son, once my water broke he was born just minutes later. The nurse said they were pulling the doctor in from next door who had been working on a 1st time mom who had been pushing for a couple of hours, natural. Oh, how I felt bad for her! The doctor came in and I hoped that things would go well with him. The nurses were talking about how sad it was for the other girl. That they had to pull him away for me, who just came in and would deliver before her. The doctor said, that is one of the differences between a 1st time birth and not. It was weird to hear all the conversations going on around me. It was kind of hectic, but that was alright. It was just how this birth was going.
I felt the need to change my breathing to birth breathing. Which is short breaths that you move down through your body, instead of the long ones that I had been doing to help me through the contractions. My husband was great. I would say a count (4) and he would know I was in the middle of a contraction and would know that meant my birth breathing, so he would help me with that. Then I would say another count (8) and he would know that I was in a resting moment and needed to do my breathing to help me relax and regroup. Just then my Midwife showed up and I was so happy. This baby was coming and she had made it just in time.
She walked in all casual like and the doctor told her to suit up. He left and she was ready and at my front in what felt like just a moment. She told me that he was her doctor (she had a baby about 6 months earlier) and that he was a good doctor. I guess if you had to have a different doctor deliver you, your midwifes doctor would be a good second option.
My husband was at my side and he and I were working together to breath this baby down and my midwife in front just watching and saying practically nothing. The thought entered my head that this was very different. I was expecting her to do something. Yes, I said I wanted to do self directed breathing, but I didn't really think that is what would happen. I just figured doctors and midwifes took over leading and when that didn't happen I was surprised. Also, with my son, things were so different and I was so caught off guard by his slam dunk delivery, I was unable to focus at all, so the midwife had to tell me what to do. But this time I was doing so well. I was breathing that baby out, a little at a time, nice and slowly. (After the birth the nurse said how she had never seen that done before and asked me how I did it? She thought it was just amazing and so neat to watch.)
This birth was a whole new experience. I was very aware of what was going on and knew exactly what I needed to do to birth this baby. There was that last moment, when you can feel that you are just moments away and you think, please just come out already, but then she is is out in one very strange, wonderful feeling of relief. Then the shoulders come out and it is another one of those great sensations. She then is placed on my stomach (her cord was so short, they couldn't put her any higher on me) and I placed my hand on her little gooey body and was so happy to see my little girl with all the dark hair. She was born just 26 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Once she decided she wanted to come, she didn't take anytime getting here.
I couldn't believe all that dark hair and I said aloud, I was right, she just wanted to cook a little longer to grow that hair. Her back was to me, but I could see a little of her face and she was beautiful! A blanket was placed on her to keep her warm, but they let her lay there for a little while before my husband cut the cord. They then wrapped her up (rubbing just a little of the birth off her) then handed her back to me so I could see the front of my baby. She was then able to nurse and she did a pretty good job. This is the first time I have had my baby right from the start and they didn't weigh her or put goop in her eyes until I said I was ready. It was such a wonderful bonding experience. We later found out that she weighed 7 lbs 7 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. She was the same weight as our 1st and just 1/2 an inch shorter. I loved that little lady right from the start and it was so nice to get to know her from the very beginning. With all the fast pace efforts that brought her into this world, those first few hours after her birth were the most calm, peaceful moments we have ever had. It truly was a blessing to have that time with such a precious gift, our baby girl.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
A Tale of Three Deliveries
This is the story of my natural birth with my third child. My other two were not natural and at each birth I felt there was something more that I was missing out on. So I decided to go natural on my third and it was the best decision I could have made. I start with a little background on my first two, then move on to the story of my third.
I was started with my first and one day before my due date. I was extremely healthy as was the baby and there was absolutely no reason to be started, but the doctor said that is what we should do and I being young and a first timer at this, I trusted him. Yes, everything was fine, but I feel I could have had a much more real birthing experience. And I am upset that was taken from me. We went to the hospital as scheduled and they got me all hooked up with Pitocin. I remember I did not like how it made me feel. When the contractions hit, they were very uncomfortable and I remember my face feeling hot. My sisters came to visit (which was fun and nice) but I admit, I just wanted them to leave because I didn’t feel good. I was dilated to a five when they wanted to break my water. My mom had told me to make sure to get an epidural before that, because once the water had been broken the contractions would get really bad. So that is what I did.
Oh man, getting an epidural was so painful. I had no idea it could be that bad. It felt like they were putting giant balls in my back. But once it was in it worked very well and I didn’t feel anything. I remember just laying there kind of bored. My husband and I watched a movie that I wasn’t very interested in and we just waited. Finally I was at a ten and my doctor got me ready to push. He reminded me of how to do this and we started. I did a great job. I pushed when he said and held it for as long as he wanted. My body made good progress for my fist child and she was out after 15 minutes of pushing. She was such a beautiful, healthy looking baby. Her coloring was so good and she cried a sweet little cry. (One I wouldn’t find to be so sweet later on, because she wouldn’t stop). But for now it was a most sweet cry. I remember holding her and thinking how beautiful she was. My emotions seemed very limited, but I was still very happy to have my little girl.
Oh man, getting an epidural was so painful. I had no idea it could be that bad. It felt like they were putting giant balls in my back. But once it was in it worked very well and I didn’t feel anything. I remember just laying there kind of bored. My husband and I watched a movie that I wasn’t very interested in and we just waited. Finally I was at a ten and my doctor got me ready to push. He reminded me of how to do this and we started. I did a great job. I pushed when he said and held it for as long as he wanted. My body made good progress for my fist child and she was out after 15 minutes of pushing. She was such a beautiful, healthy looking baby. Her coloring was so good and she cried a sweet little cry. (One I wouldn’t find to be so sweet later on, because she wouldn’t stop). But for now it was a most sweet cry. I remember holding her and thinking how beautiful she was. My emotions seemed very limited, but I was still very happy to have my little girl.
On my second delivery, I said I wanted to go into labor on my own and the same doctor I had, respected that. My baby came right on time. It was so fun to wake up in the night with mild contractions and just stare at the clock knowing that this was it. Things worked out so well. I remember getting up and taking a shower to get all ready. I woke my husband up and told him that we needed to go to the hospital. He was very shocked, but happy. I got my fist daughter up and dressed and we dropped her off at my husbands’ parents, then we were off to the hospital. We got to the hospital when the contractions were five minutes apart and we had our baby girl about three hours later.
I was doing great with the contractions until a nurse came in and asked me what my pain level was? I hadn’t had pain until she said that. Then all of a sudden, I hurt! I decided it was time for my epidural and that is what I did. Once again, getting the epidural hurt very badly. And it didn’t help that the anesthesiologist wanted me to bend in a very difficult position so he could give it to me. But once it was in, it worked great, I didn’t feel a thing.
When it was time to push, it went very well. I only pushed a few times and she was out. She was more blue and that shocked me, but she was strong and healthy and such a wonderful little baby girl.
The pushing took less than ten minutes. I admit, I was very proud of my body’s ability to deliver a baby so easily. It was a step closer in the direction I wanted. But I realized I still wanted more. It didn't seem real again. It didn't feel like I just gave birth, because I couldn't feel anything. I had some problems from the medicine and ended up fainting a few hours later and that same day I went into a depression and ended up crying a lot. I feel the drugs did this to me. I have no other explanation for this. I loved my baby, but I did not feel like myself. That is when I knew I needed a change.
On my third and my latest child I decided to go naturally. We prepared by studying and going to class for the Hypnobirthing technique and practiced the breathing that I should do. I felt fairly confident that I could do this. At the very end of my pregnancy I got really nervous that things wouldn't work the way I wanted and planned for. I had had many very hard contractions for the two months before it was time to have the baby. These contractions hurt and I would have to get into the bathtub at 2 in the morning to get them to calm down. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle labor, because they would be much worse than these. I believe this fear was holding back my progress. The night of my due date I couldn't sleep and started walking around talking to my little baby boy. I told him that I loved him and that I would take good care of him. That yes, I had been afraid, but now I was willing to go through pain so that I could have him. I told him not to be afraid to come to us, that we were a good family and would just love him. I kept saying this over and over again and I was having contractions, but nothing too serious. I was able to go back to bed, feeling very calm and at peace with the upcoming labor. The next day came and went with nothing, but that night it started.
In the middle of the night I started having those nice light contractions that I had, had with my 2nd child. The only difference is they were so far apart. I got up at some point that morning and started walking around. I noticed that when I was walking they were very close together, sometimes just 3 minutes apart. But then when I sat down, they would spread out to be as far apart as 20 minutes. I really didn't know what to do. I had to be at the hospital early enough (4 hours before the baby is born) to get an antibiotic that would protect the baby from Strep B, so I didn't want to wait to long, but I didn't want to go and not be in labor.
My husband had stayed home from work just in case this was really it, but he was at the store, grocery shopping when I decided we should go. I called him and said we should go. Then I called his parents and my Father in-law was on his way to watch the girls. When my husband came home, I still wasn't sure I was in labor, but we decided we should go just to play it safe.
On the way to the hospital, the contractions slowed down again. I wasn’t sure we were doing the right thing to go, but decided we should proceed. We had been to the hospital two weeks earlier for a false labor and I really didn’t want that to happen again.
When we got to the hospital, they checked us into a room and it was one that I could deliver in if it came to that. When we were there two weeks earlier, they didn’t put us in one of the labor rooms, so this was a good sign. The nurse and another lady (who was learning) came and checked me, and pushed on me. That was not fun. They said that I was 4 ½ cm dilated and after monitoring my contractions said I was not in active labor. I was told that because I was so far dilated and two days past my due date, I wasn’t going anywhere. That is when I realized I was going to have to battle for my natural birth. They talked about breaking my water to get things going and if that didn’t work to start me on Pitocin.
These were not OK with me. I told them that my Midwife said I could go a week past my due date before I had to do any of these things. So, if I didn’t go into labor soon, I would just go home. I could tell the nurse didn’t like this, but it is what I wanted and I stood up for it.
Shortly after this there was a shift change and I got a new nurse, who had taken Hypnobirthing classes for her son. She wasn’t able to use them, but was much more understanding of my position. One thing I didn’t like though, was how ruff she was. She went to check me and dang it hurt. I told her right then how I felt and she tried to be softer after that. The other thing I didn’t like (and not her fault at all) was that she had to ask all those questions that takes forever. I even had to sign a form to say I didn’t want them to mention pain or the pain scale. They legally have to ask this, and because I didn’t want to think of pain, I had to sign a waver. That was fine with me. I really just wanted to start walking, to see if I could get my labor going. But finally we finished my life history and my husband and I made our way to the hall.
I walked around and around the labor and delivery floor. My contractions picked up again and I felt good. None of the contractions stopped me from walking, talking or anything. They were just good, strong contractions. When we got back to the room, the nurse wanted to check me again. She was very surprised, I had jumped to a 6 ½. I was very happy as well and so after I rested for a minute, we started to walk again. But this time I put on my garment bottoms because I wasn’t used to being without them, and my legs were starting to be rubbed raw. I placed my feet in my slippers and my husband grabbed my IV stand and we were off. (I forgot to mention the IV. That was to make sure I was fully hydrated and also for my antibiotics. All that water made me need to go to the bathroom a ton).
I was doing great with the contractions until a nurse came in and asked me what my pain level was? I hadn’t had pain until she said that. Then all of a sudden, I hurt! I decided it was time for my epidural and that is what I did. Once again, getting the epidural hurt very badly. And it didn’t help that the anesthesiologist wanted me to bend in a very difficult position so he could give it to me. But once it was in, it worked great, I didn’t feel a thing.
When it was time to push, it went very well. I only pushed a few times and she was out. She was more blue and that shocked me, but she was strong and healthy and such a wonderful little baby girl.
The pushing took less than ten minutes. I admit, I was very proud of my body’s ability to deliver a baby so easily. It was a step closer in the direction I wanted. But I realized I still wanted more. It didn't seem real again. It didn't feel like I just gave birth, because I couldn't feel anything. I had some problems from the medicine and ended up fainting a few hours later and that same day I went into a depression and ended up crying a lot. I feel the drugs did this to me. I have no other explanation for this. I loved my baby, but I did not feel like myself. That is when I knew I needed a change.
On my third and my latest child I decided to go naturally. We prepared by studying and going to class for the Hypnobirthing technique and practiced the breathing that I should do. I felt fairly confident that I could do this. At the very end of my pregnancy I got really nervous that things wouldn't work the way I wanted and planned for. I had had many very hard contractions for the two months before it was time to have the baby. These contractions hurt and I would have to get into the bathtub at 2 in the morning to get them to calm down. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle labor, because they would be much worse than these. I believe this fear was holding back my progress. The night of my due date I couldn't sleep and started walking around talking to my little baby boy. I told him that I loved him and that I would take good care of him. That yes, I had been afraid, but now I was willing to go through pain so that I could have him. I told him not to be afraid to come to us, that we were a good family and would just love him. I kept saying this over and over again and I was having contractions, but nothing too serious. I was able to go back to bed, feeling very calm and at peace with the upcoming labor. The next day came and went with nothing, but that night it started.
In the middle of the night I started having those nice light contractions that I had, had with my 2nd child. The only difference is they were so far apart. I got up at some point that morning and started walking around. I noticed that when I was walking they were very close together, sometimes just 3 minutes apart. But then when I sat down, they would spread out to be as far apart as 20 minutes. I really didn't know what to do. I had to be at the hospital early enough (4 hours before the baby is born) to get an antibiotic that would protect the baby from Strep B, so I didn't want to wait to long, but I didn't want to go and not be in labor.
My husband had stayed home from work just in case this was really it, but he was at the store, grocery shopping when I decided we should go. I called him and said we should go. Then I called his parents and my Father in-law was on his way to watch the girls. When my husband came home, I still wasn't sure I was in labor, but we decided we should go just to play it safe.
On the way to the hospital, the contractions slowed down again. I wasn’t sure we were doing the right thing to go, but decided we should proceed. We had been to the hospital two weeks earlier for a false labor and I really didn’t want that to happen again.
When we got to the hospital, they checked us into a room and it was one that I could deliver in if it came to that. When we were there two weeks earlier, they didn’t put us in one of the labor rooms, so this was a good sign. The nurse and another lady (who was learning) came and checked me, and pushed on me. That was not fun. They said that I was 4 ½ cm dilated and after monitoring my contractions said I was not in active labor. I was told that because I was so far dilated and two days past my due date, I wasn’t going anywhere. That is when I realized I was going to have to battle for my natural birth. They talked about breaking my water to get things going and if that didn’t work to start me on Pitocin.
These were not OK with me. I told them that my Midwife said I could go a week past my due date before I had to do any of these things. So, if I didn’t go into labor soon, I would just go home. I could tell the nurse didn’t like this, but it is what I wanted and I stood up for it.
Shortly after this there was a shift change and I got a new nurse, who had taken Hypnobirthing classes for her son. She wasn’t able to use them, but was much more understanding of my position. One thing I didn’t like though, was how ruff she was. She went to check me and dang it hurt. I told her right then how I felt and she tried to be softer after that. The other thing I didn’t like (and not her fault at all) was that she had to ask all those questions that takes forever. I even had to sign a form to say I didn’t want them to mention pain or the pain scale. They legally have to ask this, and because I didn’t want to think of pain, I had to sign a waver. That was fine with me. I really just wanted to start walking, to see if I could get my labor going. But finally we finished my life history and my husband and I made our way to the hall.
I walked around and around the labor and delivery floor. My contractions picked up again and I felt good. None of the contractions stopped me from walking, talking or anything. They were just good, strong contractions. When we got back to the room, the nurse wanted to check me again. She was very surprised, I had jumped to a 6 ½. I was very happy as well and so after I rested for a minute, we started to walk again. But this time I put on my garment bottoms because I wasn’t used to being without them, and my legs were starting to be rubbed raw. I placed my feet in my slippers and my husband grabbed my IV stand and we were off. (I forgot to mention the IV. That was to make sure I was fully hydrated and also for my antibiotics. All that water made me need to go to the bathroom a ton).
After walking again for a time, we made our way back to the room, where the nurse checked me once again. (I really didn’t like all the checking). At this point I had gotten to a 7 and my body just stopped. They had me walk some more, but nothing had happened. I think my body was starting to feel stressed out about the pressure to keep progressing. There is a term for this, but I don’t remember what it is called. So after a while my nurse kept bugging me about breaking my water and I kept saying no. I looked at my husband and asked “are we were in a hurry, do we have somewhere we needed to go?” He looked at me and said “Nope, we are good”. They wanted me to be done so quickly, but my body had its own timing and I didn’t want to push it.
They gave me a giant ball to sit on and that felt good to be out of the bed. So I sat on that and tried some nipple stimulation. Then after a bit, I finally let my nurse sweep me (which is used to help start labor). With those two things being done, my body kicked into gear again and I started to have strong contractions. My on call Midwife came in for the first time and we talked. It was actually the first time that I met her, because my Midwife was out of town. She told me a position of kneeling on my bed against the back and letting my hands drape over the edge and to just rock back and forth. She said this would help relieve the pressure the contractions were putting on my back. I didn’t realize what kind of pressure I had until it was relieved a bit. That was a great position.
After about an hour (I think) of this position, she came back in and checked me. I was fully dilated at that point. I had made it through transition quickly and without any difficulty. Transition was a quite time, the lights were down low, soft music was playing and my husband was at my side. He was so sweet, and so tired. He really didn’t have much to do, so he was having a hard time staying awake. I don’t blame him. But he was so good to me. I remember he asked me a question in the middle of a contraction, and I just had to put my hand up to stop him. I could not answer and felt like that was a little hard on him, but he didn’t seem to mind. That was the only time I remember being at all agitated with him. He would rub my back and whisper things in my ear to help me. It was a very peaceful moment.
Once my midwife said I was to a 10, she said it could be very soon or still a few hours, because my water had not broken yet, and I didn’t want them to break it. She was fine with that. Though I know she was very tired, because she had been on call and delivered many babies and had gotten very little sleep the last couple of days. She said she would wait in the Doctors lounge and take a nap until it was time. It was getting late (around 11:15) and I was very tired as well. So I decided to take a nap too. I got comfy and was starting to doze when I was startled by a monitor going off on the baby bed that had been wheeled in for the preparation of birth.
My husband called the nurse in and she turned it off. Then she realized the monitors on my stomach were all off, so she was trying to reposition them when I jumped in surprise. It scared her and I started to laugh. “Oh, my water bro”. That was as far as I got before my body turned into a powerful machine that I never new existed. At full force my body was trying to expel that little baby that was inside of me. I had the most insistent need to push, but it was tiny little spasms one after another of needing to push. I was so caught off guard that I could not get my breathing under control.
I remember the nurse screaming into the monitor to get my Doctor and the nurses’ station not knowing who she wanted. My nurse was so panicked, (she had told me she didn’t want to deliver my baby all by herself a few times earlier that day). As she was screaming for the doctor, I was pushing in one second intervals and I am sure making all sorts of noises.
I don’t know exactly what was happening because I couldn’t concentrate or even see, (though after the matter, my husband said my eyes were open). My Midwife came rushing in and I remember them trying to get me to move down and put my legs in stirrups. The only thing I was thinking beside the incredible need to push and trying to breathe was that my sock was twisted and it was really driving me crazy. My Midwife had them put oxygen on me, because I was starting to hyperventilate (that was because I was trying to do my breathing, but was only managing very quick breaths).
Once that was done my Midwife told me to give a big push. I did exactly what she said and it felt so good. That had calmed my quick contractions and I felt I could get a hold of my breathing, so that I could hopefully just breath the baby out instead of push him out. But right after that first push my midwife said very insistently “We need to get this baby out now!” She told me to push and I did not argue for I new that I needed to get him out right away, but I didn’t know why. I gave one very hard pushed and screamed at the top of my lungs while doing so. My little baby came out in one quick motion.
My Midwife skillfully un-wrapped the umbilical cord from around his neck and instructed my husband to cut the cord quickly. She then placed his little blue body on my stomach and I gently rubbed my fingers on him saying “breathe, baby, breathe.” Right then he let out a wale and I new everything was going to be just fine. They took him away from me to make sure he was OK. During delivery his shoulder had been displaced and the cord being wrapped around his neck, they wanted to take care of him. And that was just fine with me, because I don’t think I could have held him anyway, I was shaking so badly.
The Midwife stitched me up while they were weighing him and doing other things. I was still shaking so badly. The nurses brought me some warm blankets which felt good, but didn’t stop the shaking. I asked why I couldn’t stop shaking and the Midwife told me it was because of the adrenalin rush. I later found out from a nurse that the shaking was from the medicine they put in my IV to shrink my Uterus and stop bleeding faster. I was not happy about that, they did not ask me if they could do that, but it was too late at that point.
They gave me a giant ball to sit on and that felt good to be out of the bed. So I sat on that and tried some nipple stimulation. Then after a bit, I finally let my nurse sweep me (which is used to help start labor). With those two things being done, my body kicked into gear again and I started to have strong contractions. My on call Midwife came in for the first time and we talked. It was actually the first time that I met her, because my Midwife was out of town. She told me a position of kneeling on my bed against the back and letting my hands drape over the edge and to just rock back and forth. She said this would help relieve the pressure the contractions were putting on my back. I didn’t realize what kind of pressure I had until it was relieved a bit. That was a great position.
After about an hour (I think) of this position, she came back in and checked me. I was fully dilated at that point. I had made it through transition quickly and without any difficulty. Transition was a quite time, the lights were down low, soft music was playing and my husband was at my side. He was so sweet, and so tired. He really didn’t have much to do, so he was having a hard time staying awake. I don’t blame him. But he was so good to me. I remember he asked me a question in the middle of a contraction, and I just had to put my hand up to stop him. I could not answer and felt like that was a little hard on him, but he didn’t seem to mind. That was the only time I remember being at all agitated with him. He would rub my back and whisper things in my ear to help me. It was a very peaceful moment.
Once my midwife said I was to a 10, she said it could be very soon or still a few hours, because my water had not broken yet, and I didn’t want them to break it. She was fine with that. Though I know she was very tired, because she had been on call and delivered many babies and had gotten very little sleep the last couple of days. She said she would wait in the Doctors lounge and take a nap until it was time. It was getting late (around 11:15) and I was very tired as well. So I decided to take a nap too. I got comfy and was starting to doze when I was startled by a monitor going off on the baby bed that had been wheeled in for the preparation of birth.
My husband called the nurse in and she turned it off. Then she realized the monitors on my stomach were all off, so she was trying to reposition them when I jumped in surprise. It scared her and I started to laugh. “Oh, my water bro”. That was as far as I got before my body turned into a powerful machine that I never new existed. At full force my body was trying to expel that little baby that was inside of me. I had the most insistent need to push, but it was tiny little spasms one after another of needing to push. I was so caught off guard that I could not get my breathing under control.
I remember the nurse screaming into the monitor to get my Doctor and the nurses’ station not knowing who she wanted. My nurse was so panicked, (she had told me she didn’t want to deliver my baby all by herself a few times earlier that day). As she was screaming for the doctor, I was pushing in one second intervals and I am sure making all sorts of noises.
I don’t know exactly what was happening because I couldn’t concentrate or even see, (though after the matter, my husband said my eyes were open). My Midwife came rushing in and I remember them trying to get me to move down and put my legs in stirrups. The only thing I was thinking beside the incredible need to push and trying to breathe was that my sock was twisted and it was really driving me crazy. My Midwife had them put oxygen on me, because I was starting to hyperventilate (that was because I was trying to do my breathing, but was only managing very quick breaths).
Once that was done my Midwife told me to give a big push. I did exactly what she said and it felt so good. That had calmed my quick contractions and I felt I could get a hold of my breathing, so that I could hopefully just breath the baby out instead of push him out. But right after that first push my midwife said very insistently “We need to get this baby out now!” She told me to push and I did not argue for I new that I needed to get him out right away, but I didn’t know why. I gave one very hard pushed and screamed at the top of my lungs while doing so. My little baby came out in one quick motion.
My Midwife skillfully un-wrapped the umbilical cord from around his neck and instructed my husband to cut the cord quickly. She then placed his little blue body on my stomach and I gently rubbed my fingers on him saying “breathe, baby, breathe.” Right then he let out a wale and I new everything was going to be just fine. They took him away from me to make sure he was OK. During delivery his shoulder had been displaced and the cord being wrapped around his neck, they wanted to take care of him. And that was just fine with me, because I don’t think I could have held him anyway, I was shaking so badly.
The Midwife stitched me up while they were weighing him and doing other things. I was still shaking so badly. The nurses brought me some warm blankets which felt good, but didn’t stop the shaking. I asked why I couldn’t stop shaking and the Midwife told me it was because of the adrenalin rush. I later found out from a nurse that the shaking was from the medicine they put in my IV to shrink my Uterus and stop bleeding faster. I was not happy about that, they did not ask me if they could do that, but it was too late at that point.
When it was time to be stitched, she asked me if I would like the area numbed? I promptly said, “yes please” and that is what she did. I did have one spot that needed a little more deadening, but other than that, I was just fine. That was probably the most painful part of having the baby, that or the fact that my throat hurt so badly from screaming. I asked if they had a throat lozenge, but they didn’t.
A few minutes later they brought my little baby boy (who was actually very big, 8lbs 12 oz) over to me so I could hold him close and feed him for the first time. That moment was incredible! I have never felt the heavens open more, than at that moment. I had a few other moments like this with my son. I feel so grateful to have been able to experience birth on a whole new level. My girls were born to me under different circumstances and each one was beautiful and very special. But this was the first time that I felt everything, and because of this I was able to have all the feelings my body and spirit wanted me to have and it was wonderful. Nothing was dimmed, nothing was stopped, and nothing was changed. Everything was the way it was intended to be and I felt good. I felt true joy from giving birth and it was miraculous!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Today is the Day!
I am grateful for today! I say that because last night as I woke up at 1:30 to use the bathroom and I walked to it with my aching legs and thought, I am so grateful to live in the time I do. Not just because I have a bathroom so close, but because I have things to help me through my pains, where women from ages past may not have.
The reason my legs hurt so badly was because I cleaned my house a lot harder and more thoroughly than I would normally do on a regular basis. I also had Cub Scouts where I was bending and standing the whole time. Then we had some friends over for dinner. It was a very full day, fun, but full. Because of this my body just hurt. And at 1:30 in the morning I was thinking that women back in the day probably hurt more than this because they had to push their bodies all the time and didn't have some of the things I have to ease that pain. In some ways, their constant pushing may have made it easier, because their bodies were stronger, but in other ways in may not have, because of malnutrition and the lack of comfortable sleeping arrangements.
Some of the things I have that they might not have had was Magnesium. I know that sounds weird, but Magnesium has done so much to ease my pains. It is such a simple healthy, natural substance that helps your muscles function properly. I have a problem with Charley Horses almost every night at a certain point in my pregnancy. But if I take Magnesium at night, it either stops them form happening or it makes them not nearly as painful. This morning I actually had two Charley Horses, but they weren't as bad as they could have been and they haven't effected my day. I really believe it is do to the help of this substance. I am thankful to my doctor for telling me about this.
Another thing I am very grateful for is the help from other women. They have given me knowledge that has helped with the pain I get in my left hip and in my legs. Overtime and talking to women they have told me different stretches that they have learned form physical therapy, from exercise groups and from massage school. Every night I do these stretches which does not take the pain away, but it makes it bearable so I can sleep at night. I had many sleepless night before I got pregnant and was so worried about having another child because of all of these problems, but right before we conceived I got a massage from a friend (which helped me more than any of my doctors did) and she gave me some stretches and I felt so much better. I lost my fear to get pregnant and I truly believe that helped me to get pregnant almost immediately after that massage. Then I kept up with the stretches and those from others and my body never went back to that horrible place it had once been.
I think there is a possibility that women a hundred years ago on back may have had Massage and Magnesium, but not as likely as today. They may have had other things to help them that we do not have. I think that women relied on each other more then than they do today, which I think is sad. Women are a wealth of information and we should use that information to help each other. Today we rely on Doctors and Medicine more than anything else. And one thing I have learned is that they really don't know as much as they and we think they do. Also, doctors make me feel stupid. I went through so many blood tests and had an Ultrasound and X-Ray done to be told my body was fine. Well, it wasn't, I hurt so badly. And part of my problem was probably nothing more than sciatic nerves acting up. My hip problem is something else, but we can't figure that one out, but at least it is only one thing bothering me and not all these other things added on top.
Another item I just recently discovered was a pregnancy belt. I don't know what it is really called, but that is what it looks like. It is very simple, you just put it around your tummy and it gives it support. This is my fourth pregnancy, so my stomach muscles are not able to hold things up and in as well as they used to. The lack of this support causes some major discomfort because the ligaments are pulling. This makes simple things like walking and cleaning very difficult. I had a couple friends tell me that helped them a lot in their later pregnancies, so I thought I would give it a try. It is amazing how something so simple has helped me enjoy normal activities. It was so nice, I went to see the Zoo lights with my family and walked around for hours with just one bought of pain. Then the next two nights I went dancing with my husband and did very well, up until the Samba, but oh it was fun. Such a simple item that I know they didn't have even 50 years ago. They may have wrapped themselves with cloth to help, but it would have been a bit of a hassle.
There are things that women had years ago that I wish we still had. That would be the ability to trust our bodies more. I wish women would understand how amazing our bodies are and that they can give birth without all these other things that are pushed on us so much. So many women are started with medicines so they can have a baby on a certain date, or so the doctor can have his weekend free. This leads to a very high rate of C-Sections, which could have easily been prevented. Yes, all these things can be good, but when they are used for luxury, I believe it has been taken too far.
The other thing, do you know that it is illegal for a Nurse Midwife to deliver a baby at home in the state of Utah. Ya, by law it is illegal. That is ridiculous. But a Midwife is able to by law. Also, if you deliver at home, Utah insurance will not cover it. I think that is so wrong. Who are they to tell me were I can and cannot have my baby. Yes, I am fine having my baby in a hospital and that is what I will be doing, but if I felt I should do it at home, I should have that option fully given to me. Women back in the day did not have to put up with government and insurance getting in the way of something that is so fully a family matter. I would like that freedom back. I must say, I am very grateful for modern medicine, it has saved so many people, I just wish it was used more wisely.
But last night at 1:30 in the morning I was only thinking about how grateful I am for this time I live in and I was thinking about the strength of women from long ago. What grate examples of strength and courage they are to me today.
The reason my legs hurt so badly was because I cleaned my house a lot harder and more thoroughly than I would normally do on a regular basis. I also had Cub Scouts where I was bending and standing the whole time. Then we had some friends over for dinner. It was a very full day, fun, but full. Because of this my body just hurt. And at 1:30 in the morning I was thinking that women back in the day probably hurt more than this because they had to push their bodies all the time and didn't have some of the things I have to ease that pain. In some ways, their constant pushing may have made it easier, because their bodies were stronger, but in other ways in may not have, because of malnutrition and the lack of comfortable sleeping arrangements.
Some of the things I have that they might not have had was Magnesium. I know that sounds weird, but Magnesium has done so much to ease my pains. It is such a simple healthy, natural substance that helps your muscles function properly. I have a problem with Charley Horses almost every night at a certain point in my pregnancy. But if I take Magnesium at night, it either stops them form happening or it makes them not nearly as painful. This morning I actually had two Charley Horses, but they weren't as bad as they could have been and they haven't effected my day. I really believe it is do to the help of this substance. I am thankful to my doctor for telling me about this.
Another thing I am very grateful for is the help from other women. They have given me knowledge that has helped with the pain I get in my left hip and in my legs. Overtime and talking to women they have told me different stretches that they have learned form physical therapy, from exercise groups and from massage school. Every night I do these stretches which does not take the pain away, but it makes it bearable so I can sleep at night. I had many sleepless night before I got pregnant and was so worried about having another child because of all of these problems, but right before we conceived I got a massage from a friend (which helped me more than any of my doctors did) and she gave me some stretches and I felt so much better. I lost my fear to get pregnant and I truly believe that helped me to get pregnant almost immediately after that massage. Then I kept up with the stretches and those from others and my body never went back to that horrible place it had once been.
I think there is a possibility that women a hundred years ago on back may have had Massage and Magnesium, but not as likely as today. They may have had other things to help them that we do not have. I think that women relied on each other more then than they do today, which I think is sad. Women are a wealth of information and we should use that information to help each other. Today we rely on Doctors and Medicine more than anything else. And one thing I have learned is that they really don't know as much as they and we think they do. Also, doctors make me feel stupid. I went through so many blood tests and had an Ultrasound and X-Ray done to be told my body was fine. Well, it wasn't, I hurt so badly. And part of my problem was probably nothing more than sciatic nerves acting up. My hip problem is something else, but we can't figure that one out, but at least it is only one thing bothering me and not all these other things added on top.
Another item I just recently discovered was a pregnancy belt. I don't know what it is really called, but that is what it looks like. It is very simple, you just put it around your tummy and it gives it support. This is my fourth pregnancy, so my stomach muscles are not able to hold things up and in as well as they used to. The lack of this support causes some major discomfort because the ligaments are pulling. This makes simple things like walking and cleaning very difficult. I had a couple friends tell me that helped them a lot in their later pregnancies, so I thought I would give it a try. It is amazing how something so simple has helped me enjoy normal activities. It was so nice, I went to see the Zoo lights with my family and walked around for hours with just one bought of pain. Then the next two nights I went dancing with my husband and did very well, up until the Samba, but oh it was fun. Such a simple item that I know they didn't have even 50 years ago. They may have wrapped themselves with cloth to help, but it would have been a bit of a hassle.
There are things that women had years ago that I wish we still had. That would be the ability to trust our bodies more. I wish women would understand how amazing our bodies are and that they can give birth without all these other things that are pushed on us so much. So many women are started with medicines so they can have a baby on a certain date, or so the doctor can have his weekend free. This leads to a very high rate of C-Sections, which could have easily been prevented. Yes, all these things can be good, but when they are used for luxury, I believe it has been taken too far.
The other thing, do you know that it is illegal for a Nurse Midwife to deliver a baby at home in the state of Utah. Ya, by law it is illegal. That is ridiculous. But a Midwife is able to by law. Also, if you deliver at home, Utah insurance will not cover it. I think that is so wrong. Who are they to tell me were I can and cannot have my baby. Yes, I am fine having my baby in a hospital and that is what I will be doing, but if I felt I should do it at home, I should have that option fully given to me. Women back in the day did not have to put up with government and insurance getting in the way of something that is so fully a family matter. I would like that freedom back. I must say, I am very grateful for modern medicine, it has saved so many people, I just wish it was used more wisely.
But last night at 1:30 in the morning I was only thinking about how grateful I am for this time I live in and I was thinking about the strength of women from long ago. What grate examples of strength and courage they are to me today.
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